WASHINGTON—In recognition of mankind’s inherent propensity for tragically foolish decisions, Congress allocated nearly $500 billion Monday for the construction of a new national monument honoring human folly.
“From Hannibal’s disastrous crossing of the Alps to Custer’s humiliating defeat at Little Bighorn, human history has been plagued by senseless mistakes, and it is high time we built a memorial to honor that history,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said of the expensive and ill-advised monument. “My deepest hope is that future generations of Americans will one day look upon this pointless edifice and be filled with a sense of awe and wonder at mankind’s utter lack of foresight.”
“To think of all the ways our time and money could have been better spent,” Pelosi continued. “I can imagine no more fitting tribute.”
According to the bipartisan plan, the proposed monument will be built precariously over a Washington freeway overpass, and will require as many as 30 years of grueling labor to complete. As a representation of humanity’s failure to learn from past mistakes, the project is being designed by the architecture firm of Ganz & Weiss, best known for their work on a series of dangerously constructed St. Louis public housing projects that were condemned in the late 1990s.
“Our goal is to create a structure that, like the human race itself, is doomed from the outset and plagued by innate flaws that can never be corrected,” Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH) said of the monument, which he claimed would eventually sink into the federally protected wetlands that surround it. “Not only will it be an aesthetic disaster, but it will also require constant, expensive maintenance just to ensure that the whole foundation doesn’t topple suddenly and kill hundreds of innocent people.”
The lead architect on the project, Robert Wheeler, told reporters that the monument would be a stirring testament to more than 200,000 years of arrogance, idiocy, and waste. He also confirmed that no fewer than eight different blueprint designs would be clumsily patched together in order to preserve the spirit of indecision and gross incompetence with which mankind has approached the vast majority of its endeavors.
I hope it will at least have some good neon on it. :up:
$500 Billion for a monument, yet we have how many people living on the street?!
Karen, it’s from The Onion…which doesn’t mean that government hasn’t passed equally ludicrous spending bills. But here, it was intended for satiric intent.
I didn’t realize it was from The Onion. :doh: Somehow, I overlooked your link at the bottom. :rolleyes:I’m way too gullible. :sigh:
Originally posted by Nerak:I’m way too gullibleIt’s not your fault. With all the huge bailout and military expenditure numbers running by us all the time, it’s hard to tell what’s believable and what isn’t.
That’s true…and thank you very much for helping me to feel a little less moronic! :up: 😀
After allocating $500,000,000,000 for the Monument to Folly, Congress allocated another $500,000,000,000 for war-making. Construction of the Monument to Folly is scheduled to start as soon as we finish bombing the Iraqis into “Democracy”. Construction will be performed by Halliburton, Blackwater, Dyncorp, Goldman Sachs, and AIG. Early critics have said that the edifice is not so much a monument to folly as it is a monument to unbridled Greed. Further criticism of the monument has been silenced, as it might endanger National Security. Americans who refuse to support the Monument Project with sufficient enthusiasm will be deemed Enemies of the State. -+(There are none so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free.)+– Goethe- http://www.fas.org/man/smedley.htm+(War is just a racket.)+– Excerpt from a speech delivered in 1933, by Smedley Butler, USMC Major General and two-time Medal of Honor winner.-
Awww… that already happened. Weren’t you following McNews?